Attitude. That's the hot topic of my life since this semester has started. Growth groups just had it's official kick-off this last week. The topic is Attitudes of Success. Success in this discussion is roughly defined as a life that is in obedience to Christ. Coincidentally, attitudes and success is also something that's been convicting me as I've been reading through one of my textbooks The Power of the Call by Henry Blackaby and Henry Brandt. So why is this an area that I've been convicted about... Well, since beginning my education here at Seminary, my attitude has been one of complaining, pessimism and plain hatred. Now that I think about it, there were few days where I felt content. One of the reasons is because I had a hardened heart... towards the Lord and towards everyone I encountered. There's no excuse for it. Now it's being seriously dealt with by my Savior and it's really hard to face. I'm a prideful person. I don't like it when I'm wrong. I don't like admitting that my character and my attitude is not reflecting the One I love so much. But because I love Him and He demands better of me, I plant my face down before Him... Letting go of pride and asking Him to give me the strength, to show me the way out of this negative attitude and behavior I've adapted to.
I'm surrounded by loving people. People I can talk openly about this battle I'm enduring with my attitude which provides comfort while the Lord breaks and rebuilds my heart. I can see the beauty in this plan that the Lord has for me right now. As he breaks and mends, He also provides wonderful friends who come along side me and carry this burden. They don't make the pain go away. That would be counter-productive. But while the battle rages on, friends help hold my hands up when I'm too weak.
In life, we are faced with trials. It's guaranteed. But the Lord is faithful and He provides for our every need. He didn't make us to face these difficulties alone. He created us to have relationships. Relationships promote our health- keeps us strong. They are the physical manifestations of the love the Lord has for us. The outcome of this battle would be grim if I chose to reject this love.
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